Powerless
by GreatBenevolentYaoiGoddess
Summary: Xiahou Dun is diagnosed with Retinoblastoma which blinds his existing eye, making him unable to fight Guan Yu any longer; as Xiahou is in the hospital for a problem in his other existing eye, an injury forever effects Xiahou Dun's mental state and his emotions. Guan Yu feels that he can hopefully be the one to help Xiahou Dun get through this pain Xiahou Dun feels inside.
1. Chapter 1

Powerless

It was a cool summer day at around noon, The sun was in the sky glowing with radiance; There were a few clouds in the sky that gently glided across the Clear blue sky like Sailboats drifting in the slow current of the sea. The Nice cool breeze gently caressed the leaves of the trees, blades of grass and a bit of the water in some of the fountains causing bits of water to splash.

Xiahou Dun was fighting with The Shu warrior who made an addition to His lord Cao Cao's army, He swung his blade with vigorous force. The One eyed general Hated the other, But it was a love hate relationship, In which if any one began trying to start with Yu, They would have to deal with A Frenzied Xiahou Dun on their hands on a angered scolding about respect and How they should respect a high ranked officer.. Yu on the other hand didn't necessarily hate The one eyed man he just thought his immature outbursts of anger and hatred towards him was annoying. equally, The duo both were annoyed with one another..

Yu dodged the One eyed man's strike and fought back with stronger force. The duo crashed their weapons together as they got in one another's face growling. _oh sweet bliss, I could take advantage of being so close to you...Yunchang...and kill you...But Then deal with angered Cao Cao, I rather not..._ Xiahou Dun thought to himself.. He smirked as this constant fighting with Shu's Tiger warrior became a competition on who is stronger, suddenly a throbbing eye strain shot into his good eye causing him to weaken his stance and Guan Yu's blade grazing his shoulder.

"God dammit!" Dun cried out in pain falling to his knees not realizing his shoulder had just been cut from the sword, but was to welled up on the throbbing aching pain in his only good eye... His Vision of that eye had been getting a bit blurry, But He believes its allergies.. Yu's eyes widen as he sees the smaller man on the ground covering his good eye he helps him up, but sees his hand bleeding. "Xiahou Dun do You need me to get the doctors...?" He asked trying not to sound concerned but Dun swatted his hand away and shakily gets on his feet.. "I'm fine!...I ripped my other one out, This is just child's play pain..." He said trying to make himself seem stronger...It hurt like fucking hell...

Yu ignored Dun's request on not wanting to see the medics and he took him any way..Dun was walking with his shoulder gushing out blood and his retina throbbing in agonizing pain and looked as if he would collapse any second. "This is just to sad to see..." Yu sighed as he picked dun up bridal style. Dun would have glared dead center of Yu's eyes, if his good eye didn't hurt so badly. "Put me down Guan yu! People are going to get the wrong Idea You imbecilic moron!" He pleaded as Yu sat him down on a bench in the corridors of the patio. "Let me see your eye..." He said in a calm tone.. Dun stubbornly and reluctantly didn't move his head but eventually he did..

Yu's honey brown eyes widened as he saw the smaller generals eye. He remained a calm composure to not freak out dun more than he already would get do to his hot tempered personality. "Dun..." His voice was calm as he gently brushed his hand on the blood oozing out from his only good eye. Dun furrowed his brows and was taken back, "Woah! Guan yu! Out of bounds!" He shouted irritably. Dun was arguing at Yu when Guan Yu flashed his fingers with blood on the tips, Dun remained quiet and alarmed as Yu saw the blood pooling from the Wound on his shoulder. "shit...come on..." He picked him up an rushed him to the medics, He didn't have to explain what was going on an what the problem was because Even a moron could comprehend that Dun was in need of medical attention..

The Next morning Dun woke up only seeing black.. He wasn't in his bed for it did not smell like his room at all.. Everything seemed enhanced do to his vision being covered. He heard birds chirping little hymns of peace and quiet. He lifted himself a bit but felt daggers of pain shoot through out his neck and shoulder an down his arm. "wha...What the hell...?" He said softly as he heard one of the nurse maidens in the room. Her soft voice arose as she looked at him. "Oh, I see you are up Master Xiahou Dun. The doctor was just in here examining your chart . The Medics saw that your right eye was inflamed and Was bleeding.. So we did immediate treatment." He was alarmed but remained calm but anxiety was sure to kick in. "O-Oookay, But how will this effect me in my daily life?" The maiden shook her head and spoke softly. "I will get the doctor.. But You need to relax. As for your shoulder you suffered minor muscle damage from a sword.. But you should heal from that in no time."

Guan Yu was sitting on the other side of the room quiet observing the other.. If he wanted to...Truly, deeply _WANTED _too... He could take full advantage of Dun in his state. But that would be very dishonorable. The bed ridden man looked almost helpless and vulnerable. A instinct in Yu tugged at his heart and was mentally kicking him to Protect Dun With his life as he was in a vulnerable state. Xiahou Dun hated feeling so exposed in a injured state.. He never was really open about it, but his missing eye made him self conscious and a bit defensless because He had a blind spot. He felt the cool summer morning breeze caress his hair and body but it didn't feel the same..  
When the doctor returned To the room He was a slender pale man with black hair slicked back. He had piercing gray eyes and a malicious smile, But gave off a sick vibe of being friendly. "Hello Master Xiahou Dun.. I never expected I would be seeing you as one of my patients, I'm flustered." he smiled. yu cautiously eyed the doctor as he left the room, thinking its best to leave the doctor with some Privacy with Xiahou Dun. He looked down and sighed.. _what is going to happen to my little warrior- _Wait wait wait wait.. He did not just call Dun his little warrior... Sleep deprivation was hitting him...he needed to rest...

The doctor was very gentle in examining The Wei officer, He gently moved the the bandages off of Dun's eyes to examine his only good eye and see the problem. He furrowed his brows as he saw that his eye was red, swollen a bit, and The pupil of his eye was cataract with a white film. "How long has this eye pain been going on?" he asked calmly as he inspected it. Xiahou Dun was never a man to show a sign of weakness, but since He was barely able to even see now out of that eye he was horrified..."A few...months now..." He said numbly.. The doctor furrowed his brows as he gently pressed on The warrior's cheek near his eye. "does this hurt." Dun winced and grunted softly. "yes.." The doctor frowned and looked at him. "I'm afraid to say Dun...that...Many people have underwent this sort of predicament before..And so...Your vision will never come back to normal...On the bright side, The pain and swelling is treatable... " Xiahou dun sighed and looked down at his lap irritated. The only thing that was barely visible was his hand, and even then it was a blurry orb with five blurry fingers. "Do what you must..." He leaned back sighing as he cringed a bit at medication wearing off from his eye. The doctor smiled and nodded. "I will be right back with the medical treatment.. It wont be painful...I promise..."

Yu had been standing outside of the room over hearing everything.. _Month...?! he had been undergoing pain for a few months?! why had he not told any one...!" _Yu was in deep concern, but also fueling with rage. Only an IDIOT would under go something so futile to his living being, that could get himself hurt worse than he already is...What if he had been in battle, He would have died..Xiahou Dun had fallen asleep again and Yu went in to keep an eye on him.. He was going to rest himself, but This worry was eating him alive... He goes to the bedside and looks at the sleeping warrior.. Xiahou Dun's sleeping face was so relaxed and had almost an innocent glow to its appeal. both his hands were brought to his face as his parted lips breathed out softly. He almost slept like a young child in a ball protecting himself from the outside world. His hair which was normally swept back on one side leaving his seeing eye covered by dark messy bangs giving him a mysterious aura, was messy in some parts were little messy waves as others had made little curls; a strand had gotten stuck to the corner of the sleeping mans mouth and Yu almost wanted to hug the man.. He looked so defensless like a child.. He gently brought his hand to his cheek and moved the strand away from his mouth. Xiahou Dun flinched a bit but he remained sleeping an yu brought his hand away from his cheek..  
When the Doctor replied he tilted his head and was about to speak before Yu looked back and brought a finger to his own lips motioning to be quiet. The doctor Walked to the duns sleeping figure and whispered softly. "I must begin his treatment.. So I have to wake him up.. I promise It wont hurt him. Yu nodded and looked at him whispering. "Don't tell him I am here..."

He left the room and passed Cao Cao ad Yuan. The duo looked at him with an alarmed look. Yuan was anxious. "What did you do to him..!" Yuan shouted as Cao Cao sighed shaking his head. "Cousin..." Yuan growled as he shook with anger. "WHAT...DID YOU...DO...TO HIM..!" he shouted more sharply as Yu looked down and shook his head. "we were sparing and I grazed his shoulder... That's what I did...What HE did, is Go months with a medical issue in his good eye so now he has to go under treatment For his eye...And Lose his vision eventually..." He was calm as Yuan's eyes widen an looked at cao cao. "Cousin...! Dun...Will...Never be able to fight again..." Cao Cao looked down and then back at him. "His injuries will only get in the way of My ambitions...But, Its up to dun himself.. He ripped an arrow out of his own eye I think he will be-" Yu lowered an octave of his voice full of disgust.. "Your cousin is Blinded and all you could care about is your ambition...A man of Honor would take in consideration of the others well being..." He sighed as Yuan agreed..."Cousin... Dun will never be able to seek battle again, He will Die..." Cao Cao sighed and walked to the room that Dun was in and saw the doctor working on him.

The Doctor skillfully applied the herbal treatment on his eye gently attempting to start a conversation with the officer since he was so honored to be healing him. "Are you married at all?" Dun furrowed his brows and replied politely. "No I am Not..I devoted my life to serve only my lord and protect only my lord.. " The doctor smiled and looked at him. "come now, You at least had to have liked some girl.." The man relaxed and spoke again his voice a bit bitter. "I did...We dated for three years, I was going to ask permission to marry her but I went to battle.. When I returned I found out that she had been killed by enemy officers... Since then, I devoted my life of only serving my lord and to never love again." The doctor looked at him and his voice filled with sorrow. "My apologies.." Dun sighed and looked at him. "Don't be.. Those were a good three years that I enjoyed when I was able to see with both my eyes.. Shit happens for a reason.." The doctor looked down and then cleaned up the medical equipment and looked at him. "Did...you two ever..." Xiahou Dun scoffed knowing what he was going to say. "Have sex? What do you think. I dated a woman for three years, obviously we had made out and had sex..I guess she was pregnant as well...Because when I asked the doctors who had taken her body for medical treatment, She had been at least 2 months pregnant..." The doctor furrowed his brows."you don't need to tell me any more..I think I know who it was...I did what I could to save her..."

The room fell silent as Dun smirked. "Since your such a good doctor, I will not bother you.. Go off for a break for a while...I want to sleep.." he shooed his hand at the doctor and the doctor smiled.._His smile has an underlining sadness..._ He thought to himself as he left.

Xiahou Duns trusted cousins came in and were concerned about him-well...Yuan was at least, Cao Cao was more concerned about how his ambition may not be met now that his trusted warrior was forever disabled. Yuan furrowed his brows looking at dun's eyes that were now bound behind a gauze like bandage covering both his eyes. "Cousin...Months you had been hiding this...Why..." Yuan's tone was shallow thick with concern, But Dun's voice came out as gentle and careless.. "I have to help cao cao reach his ambition...Which...is ashamed because...Despite me saying this, I cant serve you any longer my lord..." His voice was going to crack...He looked so ashamed in himself for being injured an humiliated that he had to now give up his own status as a warrior. "I'm sorry my lord..." Cao Cao's heart started to pain with Guilt...Had he been so selfish...Blinded to see how His cousin was willing to hurt himself, in order to just serve under him.. "Cousin...Stop it...Now..." Dun looked up as he faced were Cao Cao's voice was coming from.. "Please...Don't...Stop your ambitions because Of my weakness, You have many more officers who are better..." He felt sick to what he was going to say..."Have Guan Yu take my place...He is much more-" Cao Cao's voice fumed. "YUANRANG! SHUT UP GOD DAMMIT!" He shook as guilt devoured him looking at him.. Yuan Himself had been taken back at Cao Cao's outburst.. "Yuanrang...Stop...just because You are injured, Does not mean I am going to be disappointed with you... You serving under me for these years had been a great while it lasted...But now...You don't have to refer me to you as your lord...But as your cousin now... Don't stress yourself...Its not good on your health...Guan Yu yes is indeed stronger.. But, He lacks that fiery determination you have... No one will replace you, because You are you...Now...You didn't serve me so Inferior...Pic yourself up, I know You are better than this..." He said softly speaking directly too Dun and Dun alone..

Eventually, Cao Cao and Yuan had other thins to do that day and so they permitted Yu to be his guardian as well as seeing eye dog now since Guo Jia was to caught up with jia Xu, Dian Wei is Cao Cao's body guard, Yuan's schedule is to full most of the time with archery etc. Yu always made time to do something out of the kindness of his own heart, so Cao Cao told Yu to guard him... Thank heavens that Dun's injuries were not too fatal so He only has to spend two more days in the hospital...So he thought...

Xiahou Dun was laying in bed as Yu and him kept an actual conversation going an didn't lead into violence.. "Guan Yu...I am so Susceptible to any attack... Why havent you Taken advantage..." Guan Yu looked at The bed ridden man and arched a brow. "do you think of me as a Tyrant, I wouldn't take advantage of a sick mans injure to kill...That's wrong..." Dun sighed and hummed softly..."I want you to remove my eye...the other one...Just take it out...I'm going to develop eventual blindness any ways...and plus, The medication is giving me a headache..." Guan yu's eyes widen. "Your crazy...!" Dun sighed and felt around on the table on his right.."There is medical equipment on my right... please...I would have told Yuan...But...He don't have the guts for it... and Cao Cao...I don't know...He kept refusing...Please..." Guan yu looked at the other man and and got hold of the medical equipment.. "Xiahou Dun...You realize this is going to be agonizing pain... worse that an arrow...I have to get into your eye and rip it out an cut it from the nerve..." Dun began feeling sick with anxiousness.. "I'm sure..." He said softly as he leaned back.."If I tell you to stop, if I scream, If I even threaten to kill you...Don't...Stop..." Yu nodded...Why is he doing this, Why is he doing this for a man who hates him...

Yu breathed out softly.. He doesn't know what hes doing...but Dun requested it..."are you ready...?" Dun Nodded nervously... He breathed out and gripped the sheets.."Do it..." Guan Yu cut the bandages off and saw his eye... It must had began bleeding again under the bandage, Blood was stuck around it.. "okay...Here I go.." Guan Yu opened the damaged eye and began cutting away the damaged tissue of his eye. Guan Yu was surprised to the mans pain tolerance, Until h realized he had blocked out every sound to focus on the removal and became aware of the others agonizing pain. "I know...Just bear with it..." He soothed as he cut the tissue of the eye ball.. Xiahou Dun cried out in pain and anger. "FUCKING STAB IT AND RIP IT OUT GOD DAMMIT!" His voice shook as if he were crying, Guan Yu broke the muscle and began cutting away at the cornea. Blood spilled out from the eye being torn away from its socket staining Xiahou Duns face in red, caking his hair in blood, covering Guan Yu's hands. Xiahou Dun began crying from the pain and began clawing at his leg. "Please..! Just end it!" He sobbed out. Guan Yu stopped his precision to look at the other and grip his hand and spoke lowly. "Your doing fine...I'm almost done...Just bear with it a little longer...Your doing fine..." He began to go back to his eye and tried to make this go faster to not put The man in any more pain. He finally Managed to break the cornea and Scoop the eye ball out. At this point , Dun had fainted from blood loss and Pain.. Suddenly The doctor, several nurses, and Cao Cao had ran in an saw Guan Yu's hands.. Cao Cao looked as if he were going to kill. "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?" Was written on Cao Cao and the doctors face.. Before they could scorn him he spoke out immediately. "Xiahou Dun begged me to do it..." Cao Cao growled. "That is a lie, he wouldn't ask you you to do that...!" He shouted, but the tension stopped when they heard Xiahou Dun's voice in a rasping whimper.."He's...telling the truth..." He passed out again and was taken to the emergency immediately.

Weeks past since the incident and Xiahou Dun was sitting on the porch of the training grounds feeling the beam on his body. He had both his eyes covered by silken cloth covering his eyes; He was sitting next to Guan Yu and wanted to spar so desperately...The duo both never determined who was the strongest... Their relationship had grown a lot stronger than it had in the beginning..They both would eat together, drink together, and even keep each other company.. Xiahou Dun swallowed his pride on how It is odd to hold onto Yu's arm to be guided around...Ever since that incident when Yu gripped Xiahou Dun's hand, He missed the feeling of the calloused warm hand of Duns holding his.. He truly had fell for him but he didn't want to admit...What is it that brought himself to like him... "it really is a shame...We never figured out who is the strongest..." Xiahou Dun said softly as he listened to The birds chirp songs and the water from the fountains splash.. Guan Yu smiled and looked at him with a gentle gaze... He will never get to fight with the other man ever again... It stopped becoming a fight of strength but more of a game..."After what you endured, Your stronger than how I perceived you..." Xiahou Dun scoffed and punched him in the shoulder hard. "Please... I would had still been able to kick your ass..." He said with a smirk playing on his lips.. Guan Yu sighed sadly as he looked at the man. "Were just going to have to find a new way into proving who is stronger.." Dun smiled as he felt almost weak now that he was forever disabled and hearing those words come from Yu's lips he smiles. "I'd like that..."

In the end, they both had an underlining fall for one another..


	2. Powerless: Revision

Powerless: Revision

Its been almost a month since Xiahou Dun's eye removal and now he was stress fully adapting to being blind. He would often time accidentally face the other way when people talked to him, or the occasional accidentally knocking something over. Cao Cao began getting frustrated with this so Xiahou Dun had to have a guardian at all times.. He was not capable of being alone, he could hurt himself or others, so Guan Yu became Xiahou Dun's Guardian. Xiahou Dun was sitting in the garden area alone listening to everything around him. It was overwhelming at times but he didn't mind it; He had the silk cloth that covered both his eyes on the floor next to him. He loved the feeling of the breeze on his face, and how the gentle air would brush against his eyes that were permanently closed. Guan Yu walked over but stopped to watch him. He's not doing anything..I should occupy him, he seems bored... Guan Yu thought to himself as he walked behind him. Guan Yu and Xiahou Dun developed a code so Dun always knows when the other is behind him; Guan Yu clicked his tongue and knelt down behind Xiahou Dun picking up the silk cloth.

"What are you doing..?" Xiahou Dun asked curiously but calmly. "I'm just putting the eye cover back on." He gently placed the cloth over Xiahou Dun's eyes and leaned his body closer to the others, as he tied the cloth in the back smiling. "Not too tight or loose right?" Xiahou Dun smirked. "Its fine.. So what brought you to check up with me... it's not liked I can do anything now that I am legally blind.." Guan Yu sat next to him. "I'm surprised you were able to get here without me guiding you...but I checked to find you so I know you didn't...fall into a ravine or walk into Guo Jia's room while he's having intimacies with the women here.." Xiahou Dun chuckled lowly. "Do you think of me as a fool? I would have heard Guo Jia doing such things...As for the ravine, I'll have you know that has only happened twice in only four days, and they were not ravines, they were puddles..Muddy...wet...puddles..." Guan Yu smirked at his bluntness.. "And guess who has to wash you when you fall into those puddles...Me...Stop wandering off without me..."

Xiahou Dun sighed and furrowed his brows..."I'm not a child...I can handle myself perfectly fine, I don't need you towering over me...I'm 24, I can watch over myself..." Guan Yu sighed and looked at the man. He was quite handsome, even with two eyes gone he was still devilishly good looking. His hair had gotten a bit longer and passed his shoulders just a few inches but it was cut into a 'V'. "I am only listening to Cao Cao's orders my friend..I know you are capable of doing things on your own...But...You know it's okay to ask for help..." Xiahou Dun lost his temper, "WHO SAID I WANTED HELP!" His body twitched with anger as his heart palpitated.. He attempted to push him but he had missed and he ended punching the ground. "God...Dammit..." He uttered weakly. "God...God...Dammit..." His voice was soft.. "I can't even aim properly at lunging at you..." He had regretted in having his eye taken out, but the doctor even said himself; 'eventually you are going to lose the vision in your eye..'

Xiahou Dun picked himself up as he stood up and started to walk away. Guan Yu got up and stood next to him with his hand over his shoulder, but the smaller man pushed him off sighing. Guan Yu felt bad, because he can't relate to what the other was feeling. He smiles and looks at him and holds his shoulder. "Dun...let me take you someplace... You haven't really left the kingdom since the removal of your eye. Will you let me take you somewhere?" Xiahou Dun looked at him and tilted his head to the side. "Yeah sure.. How far?" Guan Yu smiled and looked at him having an idea to build some confidence in Xiahou Dun again. "Its a bit in the countryside.. Its a little bit past Jing province. It isn't too far from here." Xiahou Dun grinned a bit and crossed his arms. That's the Xiahou Dun I am looking for... "And just what are you planning to do with me...Oh great god of war in this country side area..." He teased as he unfolded his arms and felt around to find a tree near him as he leaned on it folding his arms again. Guan Yu smiled and walked towards him. "I want to teach you how to fight hand-in-hand combat. It is possible, but it will take practice.. We could use the training grounds but, the sound of others will overwhelm you. Plus, in order for this practice and training to work you need the quiet tranquility to focus on your opponent." Xiahou Dun wanted to cry. He goes to Guan Yu sliding onto his knees and hugs him. "You...have...no...idea...how badly, I had been wanting to punch and beat your face..."

Guan Yu had went to the stables with Xiahou Dun and got the horses. Guan Yu helped Xiahou Dun getting on his horse and he put the leading halter on his horse. Xiahou Dun's horse was jet black with a blue-ish tint and a pristine snow white mane. It was gorgeous. Guan Yu got on his horse and held the para-cord connected to the halter and nudged the horses to walk. He didn't want to rush, because what exactly were they rushing for? Xiahou Dun was just happy to get away from everyone worrying about him, checking up on him and constantly feeling bad for him. When they left the gates of the kingdom Guan Yu smiled at Xiahou Dun who was looking down the whole time and petting his horse. "So...What is it like exactly, you know.. not seeing anything…?" Xiahou Dun lifted his head and smiled. Not a playful smile but a smile that was hiding the borderline agony inside him. "It's not as bad as you think... You see, I see with memory.. I see darkness... yes...But if I touch my horse, I can see my horse.. perfectly. Right now I don't know where we are so I can't see, but I am looking at you so I can see you mentally..but I don't know what's around me."

He smiles but then frowns. "I miss seeing; It pains me because when Cao Cao achieves the land of ended chaos, I won't get to see this peaceful land.." He looked back down as Guan You lowered his head and then looked at him. "You will get use to it over time...I promise." Xiahou Dun smiled again and then looked up; "Yu...What does the area look like?" Guan Yu smiled as he faced forward on his horse and looked around him. "The sky is very clear..like the brightest of gems.. There is not a cloud in sight, The sun is radiating with its gaze. You are surrounded by trees, peach trees actually. The white petals are all on the ground creating a walkway.. There is green grass surrounding the dirt road..." Xiahou Dun wasn't able to see, but he was able to use his imagination to create the scenery with his head."

Elsewhere in the Wei kingdom Cao Cao was discussing matters with Guo Jia. Cao Cao paced around and had his hand to his chin furrowing his brows. "Xiahou Dun Is useless to me now... " Guo Jia leaned against a pillar and looked at him. "Now, That's a bit harsh on words... He is still your cousin..." Cao Cao sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "That's what makes me feel...This, disgusting sickness in my gut..." Guo Jia arched a brow, "That's guilt.." Cao Cao groaned and almost punched a wall. "Why am I feeling this...?" Guo Jia sighed at the man's lack of understanding to normal emotions. "Because my lord, I will bluntly say it... You are blinded by your own ambitions... You never care to ask about others, and now someone who is close to you is unable to serve you.. and you call him useless and you know it's harsh...but you hate to admit it; You are selfish at times... Because you are so self absorbed, you never felt guilt.. And because you are feeling it for the first time you don't know what to do..." Cao Cao groaned tossed his head back. "Will I die...?" Guo Jia got up and placed a hand on his hip an looked at him. "Unless you are willing to commit suicide and not deal with the problem and try to make use of your cousin, The guilt is going to remain.." Cao Cao sighed and sat down tucking his head to his arms on the table.. "Get me the alcohol..." Guo Jia sighed and shook his head... "My Lord...you can't be serious...You won't just swallow your pride and try an make use of your cousin...?" Cao Cao looked up at him glaring. "I will when swallow my pride when you can get a fish to lead my next army.." Guo Jia sighed and poured him a drink.

When Guan Yu and Xiahou Dun got to the serene area, the sound of the cool brisk river rushed through out Dun's senses. Guan Yu helped him off the horse and let the horses roam around for a while. "So when Do I get to start hitting you.. Tension...Is eating me alive..." Guan Yu smiled and chuckled. "So eager, Dun you remind me of my son at times... Before you can even think about sparring.. You need to be able to understand your senses, hearing, feeling, smelling, and tasting. The one you will need the most practice with is hearing, feeling and smelling." Dun frowned and fell onto his back. "Great... more training...fun..." Guan Yu arched a brow and looked at him laying on the ground. "We could begin with the smelling if you would like." Dun shrugged and faced his head to Yu's. "Alright, please..don't make me smell anything repulsive.. I will strangle you in your sleep..." Yu scoffed and smirked. "and by strangling me, you mean you will strangle a pole or Cao Cao?" Xiahou dun shot up, "THAT WAS ONE TIME! IT WAS NOT MY FAULT THAT THE TWO OF YOU WERE NEXT TO EACH OTHER!"

Yu laughed and Xiahou Dun smirked and began laughing too. The two learned how to tease and not cross lines. Xiahou Dun eased his laughter and looked at the Guan. "But hey he deserved that for things he had done in the past.." Guan Yu chuckled. "You're terrible.." he teased as he got a few things and laid them down on the ground in front of The blinded male. He had brought chocolate, flowers, and a bit of powder used to ignite flames."Okay Yuanrag..Are you ready?" The two had become close enough to call another by their style names. "Yes." Xiahou Dun said softly as the first object that was chocolate was places to his nose. "Smell." He smelled the object and furrowed his brows. "Its...sweet..." Yu smiled and nodded. "Yes, I can give you a hint. You can eat it." Xiahou Dun was lost but he scratched his head trying to think. "Is it candy?" he asked questioning the object.

Guan Yu smiled and nodded. "It's a plant that is turned to a candy.. Want a hint?" Xiahou Dun tried to think.. He smelled the object again, it smelled familiar. He tried to think what it was. 'I really wish I had payed attention to my mother when she was cooking when I was a boy...' He thought. "Please.." He said softly as Yu smirked. "for some reason, girls love this stuff.." Xiahou Dun then lit up. "Chocolate." Guan Yu smiled and nodded. "Yes." We will do this more than once.. so don't think your just done yet.." Dun sighed. "I know that.." Hours passed as the duo had made progress with enhancing the senses. Finally it was time for the last challenge. Guan Yu figured that The other would get stressed towards the end and would want to be praised for his efforts.. He hugged him tightly and lowered his voice to a soft gentle tone. "Memorize this scent.. So you know I am never going to be away from you..You did a good job.."

Xiahou Dun was very shocked. But he felt emotions take over him. He never was praised for anything. It was either 'Thats not good enough!' or 'that could have been better..' The only time he was praised was by his mother when he was a boy. Xiahou Dun was brought into Guan Yu's arms where he inhaled everything of the man. It was a musky yet relaxing smell.. Like Sandalwood and a small tinge of vanilla. He shook softly and broke a little gripping his shoulders. Guan you had a comforting strong hold on him, and smiled. "You will get better...You were magnificent today... Truly outstanding.. " Xiahou Dun whispered softly to him in the hug. "Thank you..."

The next day Xiahou Dun was with Guan Yu sitting under a tree in the garden as the short tempered man stood up. "I am going to wash up." Guan Yu arched a brow and looked at him. "Not alone you aren't." Xiahou Dun blushed deeply and shouted. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND YOU GUAN FOOL! FIRST OF ALL WE ARE BOTH MEN! SECONDLY-..." He faced the other direction. "Its embarrassing...Idiot.." Guan Yu smiled and ruffled his hair. "You are such a child.. In bath houses or hot springs, you do realize you are surrounded by naked people.. " Dun blushed again pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's different..! You aren't TOUCHING me." Guan Yu laughed softly and folded his arms. "Alright short-fuse. You can bathe yourself, But I need to keep watch on you." Xiahou Dun would have twitched his eye, but that was impossible now. "Oh...my...Gods...Can you be any more creepy?" Guan Yu arched a brow. "Yeah, I could have Yuan watch you.." Xiahou Dun went blank and covered his face looking down. "Oh gods...No...Its bad enough as children he would want to sleep in the same bed as me and...cuddle me... He's a affectionate man, even before when I had my vision he would try and hug me at those bathhouses... " Guan Yu smirked and looked at him. "I won't do any of the sort.."

When they got to the bath Xiahou Dun sighed and faced down. "Just...do it...It will make things less...awkward I suppose." Guan Yu smirked and teased. "I could have gotten Guo Jia to do it.." He said as he gently washed the man's black hair with the...feminine smelling...shampoo? Xiahou Dun immediately backed himself up. "First of all I would not be looking forward to that...Yellow haired pervert molesting me... and second of all... I am closer with you." Guan Yu smiled and rinsed off his hair with the warm water. "Oh, I feel so honored.." Xiahou Dun felt a bit relaxed. He's really gentle... Guan Yu got the bar of soap and lathered it in the rag and began washing the man's upper body. He gazed at the man's muscles and scars from battles. He saw a few ones under his wrists and legs but he figured they were from a battle..

But they looked too precise to be from a fight so he asked. "What are the scars under your arms, near your hand and wrist area." Xiahou Dun's heart pained with grief and faced away. "Don't ask such stupid questions..." Guan Yu knew that this was a sign of reluctance. He didn't ask any more questions as he continued to wash the other man's body. Xiahou Dun faced him. "If you go any more lower...I will end you..." He said threateningly as Guan Yu blinked and blushed a little. "E..ehh...I...Didn't plan on it..." He said softly. He then rinsed him off and put the towel around him setting him on his bed getting his clothes out and placing them on the bedside.

Xiahou Dun felt sick.. Its that reason Guan Yu asked on why hates his body exposed. But he reluctantly began to answer. "That question you asked...When you were giving me a bath..." Guan Yu nodded as he began dressing the other man. "I'm listening." Xiahou Dun looked down and sighed.. "They aren't exactly...old..." He said numbly as he faced the other direction.. Guan Yu became a bit more alarmed as he finished putting on the other man's pants. "Yuanrang...!" He shouted in a whisper. Xiahou Dun sighed, as he shook his head. "They aren't exactly from anyone but myself.." Xiahou Dun's heart was racing faster than his thoughts, The weakness enveloping him, The anxiety destroying him..The depression killing him. Guan Yu stopped trying to dress the man as he looked at him. "What did you do.."

Xiahou Dun looked down and numbed his voice. "I...did this myself...The ones on my wrists and leg were from myself.." He said softly. "Feeling so...helpless...weak...defenseless...pathetic...and people constantly feeling BAD for you..additional with my own thoughts and memories haunting me... " Guan Yu sat next to him and saw the lines under his wrist area and gently held them in his hand. "When did you first start doing this..?" Xiahou Dun faced down and swallowed hard. "Two weeks after you removed my eye...Please, don't tell Cao Cao- I can't bare to hear him say what he thinks.. " Guan Yu shook his head. "I wont... I wont.. But you need to stop this, it isn't healthy...You will get use to being blind, I promise you.." Xiahou Dun shook. "I started a little when I was 14..I killed a man for the first time...The...trauma, and...seeing what he did...he...raped my mother... and attempted to go after me...But I killed him...My mom? She committed suicide four weeks later...So I ended up living with Yuan my entire childhood.."

Guan Yu knew that the other had a mysterious gaze, but he didn't realize his had a borderline trauma. Guan Yu hugged him tightly and shook his head. "You need to be strong, even with your memories haunting you.. Your mother would want that.."

That night, Xiahou Dun had tried to sleep but his memories haunted him and caused great amount of anxiety.. Since he was in his room he memorized where the door was, and he went to the hallway and made His way towards Guan Yu's door. They made a deal that Guan Yu will leave it open in case of anything bad happening and to his surprise, Guan Yu was awake reading. "Good evening.. I hope I am not bothering you.." Dun said softly. Guan Yu closed his book smiling. "Not at all...Like you I couldn't sleep myself...Xiahou Dun scoffed a bit. "No, I'm sleep walking.." He teased as he sat on Guan Yu's bed.. Guan Yu smiled and looked at him and faced him. "I can give you something that could help relax you, it should also help with..." He looked down and saw that Xiahou Dun's hands were exposed since he was in night clothes. "With the scarring..it has calming properties and as well as healing methods. Its a cream base remedy made out of some sort of plants like vanilla, lavender and other plants." Dun nodded. "I guess so sure." Guan Yu smiled as he end to his nightstand and pulled it out and opened it. He put a good amount on his fingertips and gently rubbed the cream on his wrists. "Is it edible?" Xiahou Dun asked curiously. "It smells good.. and its made out of herbal stuff so..."

Guan Yu smiled and looked at him. "You can try I suppose. I don't see why it wouldn't be.." Xiahou Dun dipped his finger in the cream and licked it. it was sweet, it wasn't a strong flavor, it was very light.. It tasted very creamy and lightly sweetened."It tastes like a very light creamy frosting..." The cream began taking effect and his body became taking effect. He sat on the bed as Guan Yu talked to him about what its like in the Shu kingdom and how it was different than Wei. Eventually Dun stopped asking questions Guan Yu looked over and saw Dun laying on the bed asleep. He smiled and walked over to him and moved his body more on the bed so half his body wasn't laying out of the warmness of the sheets. Guan Yu smiled and looked down at him watching his body move peacefully up an down as he slept. "Sleep well.." he said softly as he brushed his hair gently away from his face before going back to read. Eventually he went to bed laying next to the other man… For some reason, the comfort of the other mans body, felt so right. "What have you done to me.." he smiled as he drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	3. Powerless: Shattered

Powerless Chapter 3: shattered

The next day Xiahou Dun had woken up in Guan Yu's bed, he sat up and heard another person breathing and he turned his head to the sound of breathing and placed a hand down and felt that it was Guan Yu. 'oh...That's right, I fell asleep in his room last night. ' He thought to himself and attempted to get out of bed on his own. Guan Yu felt the bed shift and he woke up and placed his hand on Dun's arm getting himself up. "Let me help you... My floor is a bit messy, let me help you to your room and get you dressed for the day okay? I have to go out and run some errands for a while so I asked Yuan to have Ba keep you company." Dun grunted and stretched as he was far from a morning person. The Guan got up and gently took his hand and escorted him to his own room and put him in his wardrobe, putting him in loos clothing, It was a black and white short sleeved robe with white pants and simple shoes. Guan Yu fixed Dun's hair and took him outside. "I will get you some food okay?" Xiahou Dun shook his head and sighed. "Not a morning person..." He popped his wrists and then his knuckles sighing.. "I want meat buns.. Get them..." Yu chuckled and got up and shook his head. "So demanding.." He went to get some food for the blind man. When He returned he had fallen back asleep on the grass; Guan yu smiled and walked over and shook him gently. "Hey prince charming wake up now... " Dun furrowed his brows and woke up. He stretched and smelled the meat bun and looked at yu. "Thank you.." The Guan smiled and sat down eating a meat bun too, He looked at the mans relaxed composure and how his hair gently whispered in the breeze, His perfectly toned skin seemed to glow brighter that day as his honey face lit up. He had been practicing in using his senses more, His cheeks were a gentle pink. "Have meat buns always been this good?" He said astonished that the flavor was so powerful.

Guan Yu chuckled looking at him tilting his head. "I sometimes think your lucky; Everything is enhanced so You must think the simple meat bun is from the gods.." Dun smirked and faced him furrowing his brows. "where are you going by the way, You are my guardian you aren't suppose to leave me alone.." He sounded almost like a child.. But he almost was one since he was so dependent on some one to care for him. Guan yu finished his meat bun and looked at him sighing. "Its military business... But I need to see my brother... Please, Can you keep a secret?" Dun knew that Guan you held his own secret about the cuts so he should keep this secret as well... Plus, he wouldn't even be able to find Cao Cao if he tried. "you're secret is safe with me. Please return back soon, Ba is very draining." Guan yu smiled and nodded looking at him. "It wont take more than a few hours.."

That Day It was mid afternoon Xiahou Ba the blind man's nephew was outside keeping him company; The two got along nicely, When Ba was only 3 years old Dun launched him in the air and was going to catch him; But he got caught on a tree...Yuan was not happy.. The younger Xiahou looked at him curiously and crept up behind him while Dun calmly sipped tea. "You are behind me Ba..." Ba groaned and looked at him tried lunge at the man but Dun shifted his body to the left a bit causing Ba to fall on his chest. "Your very annoying today aren't you my nephew.." He said drinking the tea arching a brow. Xiahou Ba rolled his eyes and smiled at him laying on his stomach propping himself on his shoulders. "whats it like being blind uncle?" Xiahou Dun shrugged and faced his nephew and frowned a bit. "He hasn't seen Ba in a while so he was unsure if Ba had changed at all or looked older. "Its strange... Say, Ba... What do you look like now, still baby faced and messy hair?" Ba frowned and glared. "I thought you said you were blind..." Dun's face went blank. "I...I am blind.. Your what, 16?" Ba pouted and glared at him. "I'm 19 dammit!" Dun smirked and shook his head ruffling his hair. "you really haven't changed much have-" He paused when he heard shuffling around, he stood up and looked around. "what was that?" Ba had a confused look on his face as he looked at his uncle. "What is what? Is something wrong uncle?" Dun turned around and spoke to Ba with his back turned. "Ba did you see anything or any one?" Ba shook his head. "Uncle, its probably just a few leaves brushing against the wooden floor." The blind man shook his head and his voice began to be a bit anxious. "No no, the sound was to dull to be leaves.." Ba rolled his eyes and looked at him. "Uncle, I think your getting old and going a bit crazy there is no one-aghk!" Xiahou Ba coughed out blood as an assassin crept up behind him and stabbed him in the gut; Xiahou Dun heard his nephew's gasp and attempted to tend to him but he was knocked unconscious by the other assassins prior to the attack.. He really was completely defensless...

When Xiahou Dun awoke He was in the medical area and rubbed his head; splitting pain coursed through his brain. "what...The hell happened.." Yuan was a shaking disaster, he was not mad at Dun... He couldn't help the fact he couldn't see.. "cousin..." Yuan's voice was numb.  
Dun faced him and asked immediately. "Where's Ba... is he alright?" Yuan froze and looked down. "He...He's..." Dun's voice shook as he leaned up grasping Yuan's shoulders. "Yuan...! Is Ba alright!" Yuan shook his head as his voice lowered.."I'm not sure...He...He is in malignant condition...Easy... You were sliced pretty good around your ribs..." Yuan's voice was thick with anxiety.. "Ba...He...attempted to fight them off until they fled do to commotion... He... Managed to drag you to the medics before collapsing... Dammit! That Fool Guan yu! Where was he! You and my son could have been killed!" The other Xiahou looked down guilty and shook...He didn't think Ba's life was on the line.. "its my fault...I'm sorry..." His voice cracked as tears fell down his cheeks, he covered his face as he spoke out numb with anger...He was so mad at himself... "I...I'm sorry, this is all my fault...! If I wasn't so...Pathetic and defenseless! I could have helped him-" he was cut off by Yuan hugging him. "You aren't pathetic...You can't help not being able to see things...You couldn't have done anything, If anything I am furious with Guan yu... He should of been keeping watch and he wasn't...Do you know where he went off too?" Dun swallowed hard and felt sick, he had to tell Yuan; Ba's life was on the line...He was angered at Yu, He SHOULD have been there, He is his guardian! But...There was something inside him that he couldn't...Because He kept that promise and...Yu could be killed for betrayal, He couldn't tell Yuan that Yu was off to discuss military matters with Lord Liu Bei, The whole Wei army would be involved... "He said he had to run errands...I don't know where though, he didn't say.." Dun...You have dug your own grave...

Later that evening, solemn news hit and the worst took its own matters in its hands and Ba passed away... Yuan was a disastrous wreck, he had punched about 40 holes in the wall with additional broken items in his room.. The worse part is that Yu had not even returned... This was all his fault... He should have been more cautious- No, its BOTH his and Yu's fault... The guilt he had Lied to Yuan about not knowing where Yu was and then Ba dying because he was a pathetic weakling and Yu not being there to defend them, was destroying him... Ba died because of him...He was weak, pathetic, useless... An arrow almost killed him in the past, _was this the heavens way of saying you need to die? _

Dun did not even realize that he had been scratching an clawing into his wrists, drawing blood through little scratches.. It felt...relieving... He had left to his room moments after he heard about Ba's death..After writing a '_lovely_' little note he went to the dresser by his bed slid his fingers around the inside of his drawer until he felt the cool feeling of glass, It was a gift he got from his birthday by Yuan.. It was a golden colored glass dagger at the handle where it had a crystallized razor sharp blade with a jade color inside it. It had words "mighty warrior" engraved into it.. He leaned against his bed holding the blade and shook.. "Mighty warrior huh? Such mocking words..." He sliced across the bottom of his wrist hissing softly at the sensation of the blood dripping around his wrist onto the floor.. He made sure he wasn't too rough now, He didn't want to die; not yet that is... He never wanted to die bleeding out... But by drowning, Yes...The feeling of complete bliss of your final moments.. The feeling of the adrenalin pulsating through your veins... Not thinking of anything but your life flashing before your eyes. He sliced another cut on his leg, carving the word 'sorrow on his inner thigh. He shook as his body began to feel numb. both his wrists, fore arm, legs and hips were bloodied.. The thoughts of trauma he had visioned from war haunted him... Everything traumatic and horrific that happened in his life haunted him... He attempted to wrap up his wounds, and surprised that he managed to wrap the cuts..so he thought.. He felt around and put on his armor and went to his door; carving the date, his name and then the words 'I'm sorry' before he left..

The suicidal man did indeed wrap his wounds, but they were too loose and they were coming undone and blood was trailing his every step.. He began to feel light headed and a bit dizzy. Xiahou dun bumped into Wang yi and she blushed. She had a bit of attraction to the man, even when his vision was gone; "oh...Master Xiahou Dun.. You...Must be devastated to hear about Your nephew...I'm so sorry.." Dun cringed and looked away leaning against a wall. "Y-Yeah..You can almost say... I almost wanna be with him.." His words were a bit morbid, but he was losing blood so he was not thinking straight. Wang yi was a bit taken back. "I-I'm sorry master Xiahou Dun what?" The man looked at her an flashed her a small smile.. it was broken.. "Don't worry about it..." He walked passed her to the stables. Wang Yi looked at him walking and noticed his lack of balance and saw the blood trail.. her eyes widened an believed that He had been attacked.. "I have to tell lord cao cao we have an intruder and Master Xiahou Dun is injured.." she ran to go find cao cao and that was it for now.

Xiahou Dun walked to the lake, glad that it was still in the Wei palace just up a hill past the stables. once hearing the sound of rain plopping on the water, he got he collapsed to the ground from blood loss but managed to pick himself up where he went to the ledge of the lake and smiled bitterly as he felt a gust of wind blow through him. It was very cloudy and rumbles of thunder were heard about a mile away. "oh now heavens, don't be sad I'm going to die? You fucking wanted this didn't you!?" he broke an fell to his knees completely sobbing into his hands now; rain began to now pour mournfully down and lightning struck. His horse got scared and ran back to the kingdom as the sky went black as the moon was covered by thick clouds full of rain. He shook running his hand through his hair as he looked up at the sky and felt it rain. His mind began losing it, too many things were going on in his head and he suddenly began laughing as tears poured down his face.

Back at the Palace Yu had returned and is looking for Xiahou Dun, Calling his name out and looking for the places he would be..He bumped into the wrong person, and it happened to be a Xiahou but not the one he was looking for.. "Oh, Yuan..Do you know where-" Yuan's fist met with the god of war's face, filling the Guan's mouth full of blood. "Master Xiahou Yuan was that-" Yuan's eyes watered and punched him again. "Coming from some one who has a son, You couldn't careless that Mine had just died because of you! You have left Xiahou Dun alone responsible and Look what happened! My son is dead! Yu's eyes widened and felt his stomach drop into a bottomless pit of numbness, He wanted to vomit but nothing could happen.. "Xiahou Yuan, I...I had no intentions of this happening to your son... I-" the quarreling duo were interrupted by Cao Cao, Wang yi, and Guo jia on their way to the stables. Cao Cao's voice boomed over between the two as he made his interference; "Xiahou Dun is going to kill himself, We have to make haste before its to late!" Both yuan and Yu looked at Their lord with eyes full of alarmed and went the stables and noticed the traces of blood leading to the lake not to far from the palace. Guo Jia looked at them and then his voice arose; "I think we should take this on foot and follow the blood tracks.." When they all agreed they made their way to the lake.

Xiahou dun had submerged himself in the water about 10 times or more trying to get unconscious. finally he submerged himself one final time and let all his breath our letting his body relax as he felt the urge to breath but fought it.. Naturally his body fought to swim for air but he fought back only draining himself more with additional blood loss. He suddenly felt his vision tunnel as his body began to sink down; his vision began to get blurry as he smiled solemnly as his vision faded to black. Suddenly he felt his hand being pulled upwards but he had fallen unconscious before he could reach the surface.

Guan Yu pulled the man out of the water and swam back to the grass and dropped him gently on the ground. "he's not breathing... " He said quickly before going to him and grabbed his wrist and saw that they were bloodied and red. "shit.." Cao Cao watched darkly as his cousin layed before him with the fifty percent chance of dying.. 'He is useless... Let him die...' Thought Cao Cao, as he remained silent.. Guo jia quickly tore a piece of his clothing and tied it tightly around duns wrists and put them above his head to stop the blood flow and pressed down. "Check his heart...Guan Yu..." The Guan lowered his head to The unconscious man's chest and heard a very slow beat. "He's still alive; he needs to get the water out of his lungs.." He pushed down on his diaphragm about thirty times before pinching his nose tilting dun's head back and giving two breaths. He did this about 3 times. "come one! Don't die on me..!" Yuan was in shock the whole time; first his son now his cousin who grew up with him. Guo jia was anxious too and he observed the unconscious man's body.. "His armor, remove it. Its probably blocking off his air. Quickly!" Guan yu did as he was told and removed his armor so now he layed their shirtless. He gave the man CPR one last time finally reviving him. Xiahou began to cough harshly vomiting the water gasping as Guo jia helped him sit up. His vision was still very blurry but he was breathing. "Why...I wanted to Die..." He panted out roughly before Yu hugged him tightly tears falling. "i'm so sorry I left you alone, Its my fault Ba is dead, its not your fault...Its not your fault... Don't ever do that again, I thought I was going to lose you!" Cao Cao looked at his drenched cousin and removed his overcoat of his clothes and put them on his cousin. "I will get you mental help tomorrow... Right now, lets get you back to the palace and dry.. "

When they Returned to the palace Yu took him to his room and removed the cloth binding the wound so it wouldn't bleed, when he removed it the blood had stopped and he gently strode a finger across it... "I'm so sorry.." He whispered softly to him as he took him into the bathroom and filled the tub with hot water and escorted the man to the warm bath and put him in there. The silence was thick as Yu began to gently rub the mans body with the bar of soap; both the men said nothing to one another until the bath was over. Guan Yu sat Dun on the bed and looked at him and studied him. He gently caressed his wrist and kissed the cuts softly holding his hand to his cheek and looked at him. "Yuanrang...I have to tell you something...I had fallen for you..." He kissed up his wrist and up his forearm kissing his shoulder and then his cheek. "You havent fought back.." Dun shook and looked down nervously. "that's because I think I had fallen for you to..." Yu saw the blush on Dun's cheeks as he tilted his head to the side a bit an ghosted his lips over dun's, and gently stroked his hair out of his face and gently kissed his lips innocently; taking his bottom lip into his. The blind man gasped softly as he brought his hands behind Yu's head as his lips over lapped yu's. In a matter of minutes the duo's mouths were dancing in unison; The mighty Guan Yu was to make the fist move as he gently moved dun more on the bed as he slid his hand up his leg and rubbed his inner thigh a bit slipping his tongue inside The blind mans wet cavern.

Dun gasped sharply as he gripped Yu's shoulders moaning softly into the kiss, The feather light touches on his skin burned in the best of ways. He made a daring move and decided to let the tip of his tongue gently poke at Yu's teasingly as he tried to remove the other man's shirt. The kiss began to get more heated as Guan yu made another risky move by gently grazing his teeth on Dun's soft bottom lip gently rubbing his inner thigh and moved his hand up a bit more. "Y-Yunchang...ahh...~" He moaned out softly pulling back as a strand of saliva connected their lips, he faced Yu with rose colored cheeks panting heavily. His face was on fire, and as was his entire body.. "Not...Not now...please..." He pleaded softly as he gently caressed Yu's cheek. The Guan kissed his nose and got off him getting him dressed in his night clothes and got him into bed, Just as he was about to leave the blinded man, Dun stopped him. "wait...Please...Don't leave me alone...I'm afraid of whats inside of my mind..." Yu looked down smiling solemnly and turned back to look at him. "I wasn't planning on it... I was just getting my night clothes on.." He smiled and went to his room grabbing his things and goes into his room sliding into the broken mans bed pulling him close to him and kisses his ear wrapping his arms around him securely. "I think I like you Dun...What have you done to me..." He whispered softly as they both drifted into a deep peaceful sleep.


	4. Powerless: Reminiscent

Powerless: Chapter 4. Dwelled passed &amp; Desperate measures

Several weeks have passed after Xiahou Dun's suicide attempt and he has been undergoing mental assistance. "I don't want to go today."Xiahou Dun said softly leaning back against his bed streatching as a yawn escaped his lips. Guan Yu raised a brow and smirked looking back at his new partner. "and why is that oh great blind stubborn one?" Xiahou Dun pouted slightly and fiddled with his fingers and smirked while the bigger man began putting on his shoes. He leaned forward and caressed Guan Yu's chin and leaned in to kiss him ghosting his soft lips over Guan yu's slightly rougher ones. "I would much rather take a different session than talking...My lips are better for this than just words..." His words were like sin rolling off his tongue. _'oh how enticing he sounds...Gods I would be smiten for the things I would do to him at this very moment...' _Guan Yu thought to himself smirking against his partner's lips gently ghosting over them and teasingly licking the bottom lip before pulling away smirking. "I will have to deny that for you my dear, your health is more important."

Yu had a teasing smirk on his lips as he finished dressing his stubborn lover. "You are a fucking tease you know that? I will have you know that us just making out has its health properties.." Guan Yu smiled and slid his hand up his thigh teasingly. "oh, that was not teasing.. If you want teasing I could if Iwanted to, get you aroused and leave you there." The former Wei officer's mouth went agape slightly and growled. "You'r a demon you know that?" Guan Yu smirked as he got between Dun's legs and kissed him on his lips slipping his tongue into the wet cavern. Xiahou Dun brought his hands to Guan Yu's hips moaning slightly into the kiss. Unfortunately their tongue game had to come to come to an end as the doctor with that malicious smile who was treating Xiahou Dun's eye came to the door and knocked on it. He was now the blind mans therapist. "Master Xiahou Dun.. Are you decent for your session?" The two men gasped quietly breaking the kiss and looked at the door a slightly emberassed and broke away. "I will leave Sima Yi in your hands my dear. It's only 45 minutes...Just be yourself..." With Guan Yu's comforting words he kissed his head before leaving his hot tempered partner in the strategists and doctors hands.

Sima yi sat back in the chair as Xiahou Dun was on his bed looking at him blankly and remained silent. "Master Xiahou Dun, how are you feeling today." Xiahou Dun looked up from his zoned out gaze and looked up at the strategist and shrugged. "Tired. Sort of wanted not wanted to talk to you and just be with my companion." Sima Yi smiled unoffendedly and looked at him after writing somthing. "Your relationship with with Guan Yu, it has grown very strong, would you consider him to be your friend?" Xiahou Dun looked down with a gentle half smile and then out his window. "You could say that." Sima Yi arched his brow and looked curious. "You sound as if your implying there is somthing more.." His voice sounded curious and wanted more information on their relationship. Xiahou Dun was very aware on how he felt; He knew in his heart he was attracted to Guan Yu both emotionally, sexually and mentally. He also knew he was in love with him, Guan Yu gave him that same fluttering feeling in his gut that the woman he loved years ago gave him.. He had forgotten all about the woman who he gave his life to. His virginity, heart, emotions everything.

He shook and looked down and punched the wall in a frustrated action and sighed. "He's just a friend..A very close friend.." Sima Yi furrowed his brows and looked at him alarmed. "Xiahou Dun, I think we should talk about this sudden outburst.. Is every thing alright?" Xiahou Dun felt his heart break, how could he had forgotten about the woman he had first fallen in love with and who died baring his child.

(FlashBack)

_Xingsun was a petite skinny young girl whos age was at the prime of her youth. Eight-teen, She had fallen in love with her captain Xiahou Dun. The two had a relationship that was in no way by all means held secret. The couple practicallty walked around priding their relationship. Yuan had seen them making out against the wall or even in the sparing grounds countless of times. If Xiahou Dun had not had the ranking he had and Xingsun come from a family of high prestige, the other soldiers would heckle them and harass them. But instead, they get playful teases and even at times get told that they are 'so perfect for one another.' Xingsun laid in Xiahou Dun's arms sleeping after having sex for the first time, her black shimmery hair fell over her shoulders as some strands fell over her beautiful resting face. Xiahou Dun kissed her shoulder snuggling against her, holding her tightly-almost possessively, in his arms. He had given up what he was waiting to give untill marriage; but how he and his beautiful exuberant young lover were making out and touching one another became to much to handle and it happened all so fast. Xiahou Dun knew the risks of her getting pregnant at such a young age, but his mind so blinded by his undying love for the girl he could care less.. _

_Several months had passed and Xingsun had been experiencing sickness and had missed her period, She knew she was pregnant and she knew who the father was. Xiahou Dun was sent out on a scouting mission and should return later that evening. Cao Cao had given her time off because of this secret she had held from her lover. She looked down and exposed the small lump growing in her two month pregnant belly. "I been hiding you for two months.. When your father returns I will tell him of your existance little one..." She seemed calm and collected but inside, she was scared shitless! She was a few miles away from the palace in a country side sitting under a tree, and got up going to her horse to go back to the palace and write a letter to her lover and tell a messanger to give it to him. On her way to her unexpected surprise several yellow turbans surrounded her and her being unarmed and completely defensless she was taken advantage of. _

_The men pulled her off her horse forcefully and dragged her and attempted to have their way with her.. She kicked and beat them, scratching them and hit them agressively between their legs. She wanted to cry but she had to get herself to safety first. When she broke free she got on her horse and made a break for it. Out of anger the Yellow Turbans were not going to let this swing by. "You bitch!" one of the men screamed as they raised there arrows and began to fire in unison. Five arrows penetrated her back and causing pain to shoot through out her body, blinded by anger, and the adrenaline she ripped the arrows out and went back to the palace. When The young girl got into the Gates she saw her beloved back from his mission. She got off her horse and blood was pooling at her feet, Her skin was sickly pale and her heart was slowing down by the minute. She tried to walk to him but She gave out. "My love..!" She rasped out as she collapsed onto the ground coughing out a good mouth full of blood, Her body was so cold.. _

_Xiahou Dun looked over his shoulder as he was talking to one of the strategists over to his lover who called out his name. Time had stopped before his eyes and everything went black except the sight of his was to be fiance dying before him. He stoped everything and ran to her holding her in his arms brushing her ebony silk locks out of her face. "no no no no! No! My love, stay with me! don't die on me dammit!" He cried out as he picked her up taking her to the medics. But by the time He got her to the medical center in the palace, The doctor with a malicious smile was frowning and went to the general who had both his eye sight at the time and told him the devastating news and that she was pregnant. Xiahou Dun's heart dropped below zero and fell into an anxiety attack. He pushed his hair back away from his face shaking. "no, No! Y-Your lying, if this is a sick fucking joke I will have you KILLED!" His voice broke as the news processed into his head. He nearly collapsed against a wall, placing a hand on his head crying. "God DAMMIT! Yuanrang, you fucking pathetic-God dammit! I should of stayed... I- She was pregnant with your child god dammit!" Tears drenched his cheeks as he felt as if his heart had been ripped out of his chest and shattered into a million pieces._

_(flashback End)_

Xiahou Dun's heart went numb as he faced into his hands not realizing the tears that were falling into his lap. "I-I'm sorry but this is somthing I am just not ready to tell you yet..." Sima Yi looked at the man and frowned. "You will feel better if you maybe tell-" He was cut off by Xiahou Dun's sharp words of anger, "I SAID I DID NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT DAMMIT!" He broke, and Guan Yu over heard this in his room. It brought some alarm to him but he knew that it was the only way he could get through what ever he was dealing with internally. Xiahou Dun covered his eyes and cried softly in his hands. "She was so...Young...She was my everything, I gave up everything for her...And she was taken from me...You asked about my relationship with Guan Yu...I feel for him the same way I felt for the girl I had fallen in love with.. She Died...Carrying my child... I...I'm not...Not ready to love again...Guan Yu blinded me away from the traumatic agony that spiraled into my heart, I can't ever love again..." He broke crying softly. Sima Yi's eyes widen. '_He...Is in love with a man?..This is the most unusual but- who is he to judge on who he sleeps with at night.' _Sima Yi thought to himself before speaking. "You did say he brings you peace?" Xiahou Dun nodded and covered his face not wanting to speak. Sima yi was more curious about this indevidual now. "Have...You and Guan Yu...Had sex?"

Xiahou Dun blushed covering his face as he looked down and remembered the second week after his suicide attempt and that weekend..They, did most certainly engage in sexual activities and it was amazing, he really did feel a intimate love connection with the man.. "yes...I am not going to lie, I wouldn't exactly say He was my first man I had laid with..." Sima Yi sort of choaked a bit. '_so he has had male partners in the past? It's no wonder why the man was so reserved, he had hidden secrets that most people in this time would rather die than speak out is a scary man when angered and he also has the God Of War as his companion...it's best I keep this to myself...' _He tilted his head and looked at him curiously. "In your heart...what would your old lover in the past want you to do.."

Xiahou Dun shook as he looked down.. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but Xingsun had always been the girl who knew to move on and make peace with the past.. He didn't want to move on from her, he was still so in love with her.. Xiahou Dun looked down and sighed. "knowing her she would probably tell me that I shouldn't be dwelling on...what pained me...But...what makes me..." He broke again punching the wall again. That was twice and Guan Yu heard both of the hits. He hurt inside for the other man, He was having to tell the other man what he was dealing with. He understood the other man was a doctor but, he was Dun's partner. What made him more easy to talk to than him.. Guan Yu began feeling jealous and frowned sighing stressfully.

Sima Yi looked at him and made his voice gentle like he were talking to a child. "it seems that she only wanted you to be happy...Wouldn't you think that she would be happy that you found some one who makes you feel the same way she made you feel?" Xiahou Dun didn't say anything, all he did was sigh and whiped his eyes. Sima Yi looked at him and decided to let him decide if he is willing to try and just listen, thus he changed the subject.. "You said you have laid with other men before?" Xiahou Dun nodded feeling a bit sick to himself. He didn't have the guts to tell Guan Yu that yet... "It was after my first love had died. It wasn't anything like me having one night flings with any male I saw. It was only with two other men, not at the same time but different points in my life.." Sima Yi looked at him with a cocked up brow looking at the man he was helping. "then...Who would you say made you enjoy a mans company in bed then?"

Xiahou Dun furrowed his brows then looking out the window." My first time with a man I was the one submitting. Did I like feeling that I was the one submiting into a mans sexual desire? yes, but at the same time It felt wrong.. Not because he was a man but because I knew I was handing myself to a one night stand. The second one was actually one of the officers in our kingdome, Zhang He.. He wouldn't stop clinging on to me and calling me 'big general' so I eventually gave him the desire he craved..Guan Yu is the one man that I let myself submit to his desires and I was okay with it." Sima Yi was a bit surprised, Xiahou Dun enjoyed both submissing and dominating. Sima Yi got up and smiled going to the blind man. "I believe our time is up, I will see you in two weeks alright?" He smiled as his voice was smooth and comforting. Xiahou Dun was tired and he leaned in his bed covering himself in blankets. "Yeah." was all he said before Sima Yi left the room.

In the other room Cao Cao was having a break down. He couldn't eat, sleep, shower, work, anything. The guilt of knowing his cousin is completely and utterly useless to his ambitions is eating away. Cao Cao was in his large king sized bed, his robes were wrinkled stained with alcohol. He was dealing with a hang over the size of a mother fucker, He had a throbbing migrane pulsating in his brain, and every time he sat up he would vomit. As he was laying in bed distress with a painful hang over, A light went off in his head. He shot up from bed and showered, changed and took some herbal tea to help his hang over. The ambitious lord thought of a plan to get rid of Xiahou Dun; The man can't even tell left from right any more, and in a land of chaos he was already a dead man the moment he lost his eye sight. This method that Cao Cao was plotting was objective 'Euthanasia.' He smirked deviantly as he stroked his short beard on his chin. "Its like putting a dog out of their missery." He said to himself. He went to Sima Yi and brought him into the strategy room and will try to make a bargain.

"Sima Yi, I am hoping that you will agree to a bargain..." Sima Yi arched a brow and glared at him a bit. "What kind of bargaining.." Cao Cao smirked as he poured two glasses of wine and handed him a map of a small but decent portion of land circled. Sima Yi looked down at the map and immediately got where cao cao was getting at. He would get a portion of land. A girn played across his synical lips. "I'm listening..." Cao Cao got the mastermind captivated in his clutches.. "You tell me everything about yours and Xiahou Dun's conversations.. I will Give you this land once I eliminate him..He was only a mere pawn in my plan to end this chaos and create a land of ambition.. But he is useless to me now, and since he attempted suicide and he is blind, He will only become a burden or an obstical in my vision of ambitions." Sima Yi grinned evily, the man who he had treated in the very begining needing treatment for his eye; is now helping his own cousin plot his sudden demise.

Guan Yu was making his way to Xiahou Dun's room and saw the man laying in his bed. The blankets were up to his chin covering his nose as his blind fold slowly is coming undon in the back. Guan Yu put his jealously aside and smiled going to the bed and leans on the side stroking his hair, caressing the silky locks under his finger tips brushing it softly behind his ear. He smiled as he gazed upon his innocent sleeping face leaning in to kiss his cheek softly. 'so beautiful..' He thought to himself as he heard the mans soft gentle breathing. '_mn...Guan...Yu...'_ He moaned out softly in his sleep as a rose tinge spread on his cheeks. 'Is..he dreaming of me?" Guan Yu thought as he heard the man begine ighing softly in his sleep panting. Soft moans would elicit from his parted lip, he started sweating a bit. It was an erotic sight to be honest. Guan Yu smirked but then relized that he could also be having a night mare. He gently shook his partner whispering softly to not distress him when he awakens. "Hey... My dear, wake up." Xiahou Dun woke up blushing deeply

"Are you alright? You seemed you were having pretty interesting dream, Your sweating." He said softly brushing his lovers hair away from his face. Xiahou Dun did notice he felt a bit hot when he woke up. "Oh, yea.. Sorry about that. I didn't mean to worry you.. I actually was having a pleasent dream incase you were wondering." He said softly as he got out of bed. Guan Yu was curious on to what he was dreaming of, He looked at him and kissed his nose. "what were you dreaming of exactly Short fuse?" Xiahou Dun shrugged. "I can't remember exactly.. all I can remember is you were on top of me." Guan Yu shook his head chuckling. "Well then, I should of just watched you have this dream." Dun's hand held Guan Yu's as they laced their fingers togater kissing each others lips softly. Guan Yu felt his heart tug again about the jealousy, He isn't the kind of man to hold it in an let him burts, no. He was the type of man to get down to it and speak what is bothering him. "Dun...I know Your going through a lot...I was hoping that... You can maybe tell me some of the conversations you and Sima Yi were having... I heard you punch the wall several times and I was just concerned.."

Xiahou Dun shook his head stubbornly. "I can't. I'm not ready to open up that much to you just yet..." Guan Yu frowned and spoke exactly what was on his mind, it came across as inconsiderate but if he is going to be in a relationship, then he doesn't want it barricaded with overwhelming emotions. "Then...What does he have that That makes you trust him with your secrets than me?" The blinded man got a bit defensive and stopped holding their hands. "Does it matter?" Xiahou Dun spat out a bit venomously stepping back furrowing his brows folding his arms across his chest. "Guan Yu didn't like this sudden change of attitude and out of frustration he bit back. "To put it as gentle as possible so you don't flip out, if we are going to be in a relationship I don't want it to be drowned by secrets that we cant even tell one another." Xiahou Dun snapped back agressively and pushed him a bit. "I don't have to tell you shit Guan Yu, so why don't you just back off a bit. Ever consider I am not ready to tell you?"

Frustrated and getting angery from Dun shoving him back a bit he glared at him and calmly but sternly spoke. "Well, for one though were closer..! You only seen or even talked to him twice! When you were put in the hospital and then this. Why is he more easy to talk to than me! arent we in a relationship?" Xiahou Dun's thoughts raced back to his beloved girlfriend in the past and how he was getting really anxious and frustrated. "I NEVER AGREED TO BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP!" He shouted out at the taller man. "All we did was fuck and that is that..." He shook anxiously, tremboling with anger. At times he was so happy he couldn't see.

Guan Yu's face went completely blank. He felt as if heart stopped and breathing became hard. Guan Yu's voice numbly spoke in the room thick with tension and silence. "Do You really mean that...Is that how you really saw that one night as..." Xiahou Dun didn't say anything. He only turned away."Right now, I am unsure..." That was all he said before Guan Yu made his way to the door. Guan Yu was just about to leave before Sima Yi appeard behind the door with Cao Cao. "Oh. Guan Yu, a word with you please if you be so kind?" Guan yu looked back at Xiahou Dun who was sitting on his bed facing down with his hand onhis forhead shaking his head in a stressed manor. "I don't mind..." Was all Guan Yu said before he left the room with Sima Yi.

Cao Cao looked at Xiahou Dun and sat on the foot of his bed. "Xiahou Dun..." Dun shot his head up. "Cousin..! I...I didn't hear you there.. I am so sorry you have to see me like this.." Cao Cao held a dagger in his hand. "No, it's alright. I heard you and Yu shouting at one another. Is everything okay?" Dun faced the other direction and sighed rubbing his temple shaking his head. " We just need space right-" He was cut off by Cao Cao's cold words. "He doesn't care about you, I hope you know that..." He said numbly with out any empathy in his voice what so ever. Dun was taken back, he faced him and furrowed his brows. "ex...excuse you?" His heart throbbed a bit. Cao Cao had a malicious smirk on his lips as he saw the other man's face fall into a deeper state of depression. "He only did all those things for you because he felt mercy upon you..Because he injured you." Xiahou Dun felt somthing was wrong.. But Cao Cao's were so sharp they penetrated him to the core.

"Who wouldn't...I knew somthing was up...I really am pathetic and worthless..." Cao Cao's heart was no more than a block of ice; He no longer saw his cousin in front of him as a Marshall General, but as a pawn. "stop it..." His icy heart was melting.. If he lets Dun's words get to him he cant get through the plan...

Sima Yi closed and locked the door behind him smirking but changed his act as he turned around. "I over heard what happened with Dun...Its a shame... He told me a lot about you...and your..._RELATIONSHIP..._" He said slyly making his way torwards Yu. The man turned his back and looked at him with widened eyes. "what...What did he say.." Sima yi smirked sitting on the bed looking at him. "He never loved you... He only used you...You were just a rebound for who he really loves.." Guan Yu looked at him and his heart fell into disbelief.

Xiahou Dun was wrapped up in his own emotions slowly breaking. "It all makes so much sense now...He only ressisitated me because It would be more guilt if he didn't! Because I am a blind...ignorant...fool..." Cao Cao growled and raised his voice "SHUT UP!" He boomed as he stabbed Xiahou Dun. "Ghk!" Was all The blinded man could gasp out as the blade was driven into his gut. Cao Cao looked down at him. "You Dare defy me...Xiahou Dun...?" Xiahou Dun was shaking as he placed his hand on the wound; He kneeled down as blood began to pool at the floor. "Never my lord.." He rasped out as Cao Cao looked down at the man who was withering like a leaf.

Guan Yu heard Cao Cao's yelling and the sound of Xiahou Dun's gasp of distress. He turned to sima Yi and then to the door. "I'm sorry I will be right back, I need to see what's going on.. " Sima Yi smirked as he he drew his blade. "I'm afraid I can't let you do that.." Guan Yu's eyes widened and then turned into a glare. "What's going on.." Sima Yi chortled his signature devils laugh..

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	5. Powerless (filler): Heated seduction

Powerless (filler): Heated seduction

Authors Note: I am so happy that my fanfiction has made it this far! ^^ Thank you viewers for still waiting patiently for my chapters! I am on writers block at the moment so please Enjoy this Smexual chapter filler. Like mentioned in Chapter 4, It briefly mentioned how Xiahou Dun and Guan Yu had sex. well, Here is it. You bet your eager eyes it is. The sex chapter! :) Please, I really suck at lemons so please, enjoy it for I tried XD Jaa ne!

Guan Yu was in the bathroom with Xiahou Dun assisting him on washing himself. As expected Xiahou Dun always faught back and splashed him shouting. "I can wash myself! so stay the hell away from my private areas!" Guan yu rolled his eyes and frowned. "you are acting like a child.." He sighed rubbing his temple. Xiahou Dun went silent as his heart fluttered thinking of things the man could do...'what is he into...' or 'does he like it rough..' he blushed and smirked crossing his arms facing his lover. "You know if you wanted to touch me down there you could of just asked instead of usig the cliche 'I need to make you clean'." Guan Yu blushed as undressed and went to join him in the bath. He sat behind him and sighed kissing behind his neck. "Maybe this makes things less bothersome for you.." He smirked as he slid a hand down on Xiahou Dun's inner thigh gently rubbing his fingers across healing cuts. "Yu...Yunchang..." Xiahou Dun whispered softly as he leaned back against the larger man. "let me clean you..." Xiahou Dun blushed and gave in letting Yu lather his hands in the scented oil and began rubbing his hands into the mans skin. The smell was of Lavander and roses, the two most intoicating scents that aroused Guan yu. "You smell so good Dun.." He whispered into the mans ear gently biting. "Ah..! Yu..." He gasped softly feeling Guan yu snake his large hands around his waist and rub his oiled hands upwards onto his chest and rubbed him soothingly. "Mmn..." Xiahou Dun moaned out softly leaning more into guan yu's chest blushing. "am I hurting you?" Guan Yu asked gently and quietly brushing hair out of Dun's face. "no. continue.." Guan Yu kissed his shoulder and ghosted his calloused fingers over his nipples smirking as he heard the man's breath hitch up and pant out his name in a gentle chant. "Y..Yunchang...shit..." He moaned softly gently grabbing hold of Yu's hand. Guan yu smiled and kissed his cheek pulling Dun back so his back was against his chest, he turned his head so he faced him and kissed his lips deeply. The duo parted each others lips tangling one anothers tongues togather. Guan yu brought his other hand down to gently stroke and caress Xiahou Dun's cock. He parted his lips gasping as he grabbed onto yu's legs moaning. "Fuck..!" He moaned out feeling his lower body tingle with an arousing sensation. The feeling was powerfull and it was probably because he was blind and everthing was enhanced. guan Yu felt himself harden when hearing his lovers wanton moans and continued to stroke his dick slowly hearing his lovers moans echo through out the bathroom. "a..ahh...! Y..Yunchang...Yu..Yu!" Xiahou Dun was moaning in short wanton whines panting heavily, he felt his abdomen heat up and tingle; his manhood tingled and felt the urge of release nearing. Guan yu smirked and played with the mans nipple smirking as he bit his ear gently. "Hold it..." Xiahou Dun whined as he forced his orgasm back moaning loudly tilting his head back onto guan yu's shoulder feeling the calloused hand gently caress and pump his organ torturously slow listening to the sound of water slapping against the tub and feeling the man squirm just by his fingers. Xiahou Dun's face began to heat up as he parted his lips feeling the slightst but of saliva fall down his chin as a strangled moan escaped his lips. He was getting drained by using all his self control to not cum. "P..Plea...ahhhhh..." He begged softly only to feel the hand around his shaft squeez and hear Guan yu's low chuckle. "Thats it...Beg..." Xiahou Dun didn't care about his pride, he just wanted the release. "F...Fuck...P..Please! l..Let me cu..cum..I..cum, ahh!" he arched up tossing his head back furrowing his brows as he felt his body jolt and become blinded by white as he felt a new sensation of Guan yu's fingers making a intrusion into his body and not working on his shaft anymore. He relaxed panting heavily as he felt an uncomfortable tingling sensation coil in his lower belly, feeling the urge to burst. "Yu...Fuck me..." he begged so wantonly Guan Yu was taken back.. He kissed the man's warm subtle lips caressing his cheek and brushing his hair out of his face kissing his eyes that were perminantly closed. "beautiful..." He smiled amourously as he picked the man up taking him to the bed and laying him on his back. The duo were wet and steam was evaporating off of there bodies from the bath, and both were uncomfortably aroused. Guan yu had Xiahou Dun in missionary position, seeing that it was simple and didn't want to make the blind man have to work his body to much. He kissed his lips deeply brushing his hair back teasing the man's nipples again and watched the smaller man fluster and moan writing. "Yu...stop...! please, I can't take it any more.. Take me!' He moaned as he felt the bed shift and Guan Yu went to his nightstand and pulled out the cream he had applied onto Dun's wounds and coated his hard on with it and felt it tingle and heat up. He moaned softly at the feeling and thought to himself. 'all those nights alone when I was hard, I could have just applied this stuff..' he thought to himself, as he dipped three fingers in the cream and slowly began pepping the man underneath him.

Xiahou Dun panted and felt a small sensation of the first finger and only was panting feeling small stimulation, and faced his head the other direction. Guan Yu took it as he was fine and added a second. Dun felt a slight sting of pain but he only gripped the sheets anxiously panting. The third finger was intruded and Dun gripped the sheets groaning in discomfort. "gh..." Guan Yu lowered his head and kissed his neck gently sucking on his collar bone. "bare with it.." He scissored his fingers feeling around to find the one spot that will make his boyfriend feel blinding pleasure. Xiahou Dun panted and relaxed, not tensing up. He furrowed his brows and gripped the sheets. '1...2...3...4-' "ah!" he arched up crying out in pleasure moaning. Four seconds and Guan Yu found his prostate, most of the time it takes some men about 20 seconds. he heared the man chuckle and caress his cheek and lower himself to kiss his lips. "Think only of me...and my body...on top of you..thrusting..in and out, my hair wet and messy.." He kissed him deeply remembering that Xiahou Dun sees with his immagination. He took his fingers out and angled his cock with Dun's enterence and faced the man's head towards him and not looking away. He wanted to see his face when he breings him ultimate pleasure; He slid in and groaned in pleasure feeling hot tight bliss constrict around his organ like a vice Xiahou Dun on the other hand tilted his head back gasping as a silent scream escaped his lips. 'fuck, I didn't expect him to be this huge..' He immediately faced away and began panting and whimpering in distrained pain. Guan Yu fully sheathed himself and panted heavily, nearly passing out of how tight the man was. He lowered his body closer to Dun's grunting in pleasure but remaining stationary until his lover was ready for him to move. "look at me..." He panted as he faced Dun's head towards him kissing him passionately placing a hand on his forhead. "I love you..Love you.."Guan Yu panted out as Dun gripped the mans shoulders panting. "Yunchang...Move...I'm ready..."Guan Yu panted as he brought the man's knees up and gently held onto Xiahou Dun's hips. He panted as he pulled back and thrusted gently bac into tight heat striking his prostate immediately. Xiahou Dun tossed his head back screaming in pleasure as he clawed down Yu's back drawing a bit of blood. He moaned softly thrusting in sync with his boy friends moans enjoying the feeling of his hands clawing his back. A secret kink of his, had always been hair pulling, back clawing and biting. Xiahou Dun had wrapped his legs around his waist moaning his name over and over feeling that coiling sensation in his lower gut. He felt as if he was going to burst.

Xiahou Dun's lips were parted as he moaned, screamed and cried out in pleasure. "Y..Yu! ah.I...Love you! fuck..!" His mind was going crazy with immagination, He immagined Yu on top of him pinning him down, shirtless sweat perspirating over his body, his wet black hair long and messy falling over his shoulders. The bite marks all over his neck and chest. "Don't...Stop!" he moaned out breathlessly clawing down his back feeling his cock tingle as pre cum began to soak his organ. Guan Yu snaked his hand between the mingled bodies and began jerking his shaft in unison with his thrusts. He grunted with each thrust, and each groan was getting heavier and heavier. He too was feeling the same sensation of needing to burst with Dun. He moaned his name in his ear softly. He thrusted harder jabbing at the mans prostate feeling him squeez around him tighter. 'hes so close' He thought. He brought his other hand behind his back an grabbed one of Dun's hands and pinned it above is head lacing his fingers with him then locking them togather panting. "hold it..." he grunted with his thrusts as he thrusted faster and rolled his hips with each thust pentrating deeper. Dun couldn't say any words except for 'fuck.!' and 'Yunchang'. He panted heavily moaning his name biting the mans neck sucking as he pulled and tugged his hair with his free hand. "Y..Yun...Cha...ang!" He moaned out feeling the sensation scorch in his lower abdomen. "his face was hot and sweat began perspiring off his skin as loud cries of pleasure left his soft lips. "Hold...!" Guan Yu grunted as he thrusted faster panting as growling grunts left his throat. He tightened his hand around Dun and kissed him sloppily looking at the mans flustered face so close to orgasm. "Togather now..." He panted out as he thrusted harder and faster and in one pivot of his hips he moaned a low seductive loud growl of Dun's name 'Yuanrang' as he spilled his seed inside of his lover. Dun arched up crying out in pleasure tugging and then clawing down yu's back as cu shot out from his cock coating their chests. "Yun...Chang! ahh!" His mind was blinded by white as he felt himself feel warm being filled with his lovers essence.

Guan Yu had held him tightly close to him durring their climax and finally loosened up pulling out and gasped laying next to him pulling Dun into his chest spooning him in a comforting hold kissing his cuts under his wrists.. "I love you...Xiahou Dun..." Dun panted and nuzzled into Yu's chest kissing him and before he fell asleep panting still holding his hand on yu's abdomen, he sighed back romantically, "I love you too..Guan Yu."

**And there you have it, my first lemon! Hah! I am sort of nervous.. Please let me know how you think about my lemon! ^^ Love you!**


	6. Powerless: Amnesia Dreams

Powerless: chapter. 5- AMNESIA DREAM

(**WARNING: VERY, VERY GRAPHIC AND GRUESOME.**

I am so SO sorry for the Lateness! I have been procrastinating.. Severely. XD any who.. I felt very uncomfortable with this chapter.. I had to watch a horror movie just to write it. *sighs* okay! onward! please review!)

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Cao Cao held the blade as he realized what he has done, dread sought through out his gut, he felt sick as Xiahou dun collapsed to the floor. What has he done, He...injured his cousin! "D-Dun...Yuanrang...! COUSIN!" he grabbed him in his arms and cradled him panicking. "what have I done..." Cao Cao realized what he was doing... 'am I going insane...?!' He thought to himself. The man was unconscious.. He picked him up and took him to the medics. The whole time he was apologizing for how stupid he was. The medics took him and were questioning him. "It was Guan yu. He snapped.. " Cao Cao lied, was it cause He was jealous? Jealous that the man had grown affectionate towards the shu warrior? Yes...He must have dun lose his trust in Guan Yu...And then He will his his..His cousin,-no...Lover.. "Yes...It was Guan yu...Xiahou Dun tried to protect me from his blow... put Guan yu in prison... and order for an execution.." His voice was numb as he made his way to Guan yu's room.

Guan Yu was in no position to be calm, He growled pinning sima yi to the wall as Cao Cao barged in the room going to Sima Yi and grabbing him by the arm as they ran out of the room into his chambers. "New plan. I...I didn't go through with it... " Sima Yi's eyes widened and gave him a cold glare. "IMBECILE!" Cao Cao looked into his eyes and was panicking. "I think I'm in love with Dun...We are going to frame Guan Yu for the stabbing incident.. " Sima Yi furrowed his brow and grinned. "So that's why you needed to dispose of Xiahou Dun.. Jealously... Alright..." Cao Cao calmed down slightly but still shook. "I took him to the medics an told them it was Guan Yu.. The guards should be in his room any minute.."

Xiahou Dun's room was not in particular disseray, although the sight of a white steeled dagger with a saphire handle and a gold design etched in the base was laid in a pool of blood; Dun was no where to be found. His heart dropped as he numbly and shakily walked to the blood and held the blade as his hands were now sticy with blood. "This isn't Cao Cao's.." He said nervously.. "Cao Cao didn't have blood on him when He came in..." He was filled with dread. "that basta-" He hard the sound of a blade being unsheathed and pointed to the back of his neck. He remained silent an did not move. He simply dropped the dagger and raised both hands up. "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do will be held against you..." Guan Yu said nothing but stood as the blade followed his every move. The other guard grabbed the god of wars hands and tied them behind his back and moved him to the prison. 'this is what happened...He is being trialed...for the etabbing of Xiahou Dun... Cao Cao, you merciless demon...' the ropes were cut when he was put in the cell and the guards left with out a word.

When Xiahou Dun awoke he was in the medics.. He has no memory of the stabbing or what happened. "ugh..." Cao Cao was by his side and brushed his bangs away from his face. "how you feeling... Do you remember what happened at all?" Dun scoffed and looked away. "I feel like shit.. and no, I don't remember...what happ- ghk!" He cringed as he gripped his diaphragm. Cao Cao grinned, make his cousin heart broken, lose trust in guan yu, hate him like before and have him come crawling to him and Xiahou Dun will be his love for ever..."Guan Yu...when..You and I were talking... Guan yu tried to stab me...But..You pushed me and he struck you.. He said that you shouldnt have gotten in the way.. and that you may as well die beside me." Dun's heart dropped below zero.. He thought their fight was a typical couples argument.. But he didn't think Guan Yu would...go out of the way to...attempt to KILL him and cao cao... "it...makes so much sence now..." he uttered as he felt himself wanting to cry. He cracked and confesses.."That...night Xiahou Ba died and we were attacked by assassins...Guan Yu left to go to shu, and speak to his brothers...He...Planned this." He felt sick with betrayal.."Ba...This...It...It all clicks togather, This was his plan..Gain my trust, get close to you, and...eliminate us..." Cao Cao's eyes widened.. Xiahou Yuan who had come in to see how his cousin was heard everything.. "The bastard did what?!" he snapped leaving the room. Cao Cao got up an grabbed his shoulder, his voice was strong and full of pride. "Guan yu will get what he deserves...But you are in charge of Dun now... You are his cousin... He has been through alot..." Yuan whiped tears that fell down his cheeks and returned to his cousin and gripped his hand. "cousin...Break ups arent easy huh..." He said trying to help his dear cousin who was suffering. His voice was soft and tender, like he was speaking to him.. all those nights when he was a kid, and having night terrors...

_ Xiahou Dun was 14 in a half and was living with his cousin yuan after his mother committed suicide. He was in his bed crying in his sleep, shaking, squirming. He gripped the sheets. He remembered the night like the back of his hand.. He was pale, his large chestnut eyes were hazed with horror, anger, and pain. He mentally snapped. He held a knife in his handand butchard the man who molested him. He had no emotion. He stabbed the man's neck hitting a vain; blood gushed out and splattered his youthful face. Blood dreanched his clothes as the smell of metal filled the room. He slowly began laughing as tears fell down his cheeks, He ripped the mans eyes with his small fingers and cut out the man's tongue.. The man was choaking and gasping. His body convulsed as he went lower. and undid the man's pants and the man tried to kick him away. "what, you had no problem with me near here when you were gagging me with it..." He said morbidly. He grined as blood got in his mouth, he didn't care. He grabed the man's manhood and with one slice...Castrated. The man had passed out from pain and dun straddled his stomach raising the blade ad butchared his face laughing demntedly. The man who was with his mother herd the screams of pain and left her on the floor only to see the young boy covered in blood with the dead body under him. The man's eyes widened in horror. "D-DEMON!" He was mortified so badly he left the house. But the military police came in and convicted him imediately. Xiahou Dun shook as he shakily walked to his mother on the floor. She was trembling. He dropped the knife and collapsed in her arms shaking. He cried like a young child would after a nightmare. She stroked his blood stained hair and sang softly to him to calm him down. She was infact in pain, but her little boy was her priority... Xiahou Dun awoke from his nightmare screaming, his screams woke him. Yuan was in his bed shaking him and holding him."Cousin! Cousin!" Dun stopped screaming but his vision was blurry with tears. He cried softly hugging yuan. Yuan's mother and father ran in and saw the boy trembling in their sons arms. Xiahou Zhen, who was Yuan's mother felt so bad for her nephew. She looked at her husband and whispered. "we need to send him to the institution.." Yuan over heard. He screamed. "NO! No...You can't abandon him...If he goes, I go! He cupped dun's cheeks an brought their noses to touch and locked his gaze with him. "I won't let them take you...We can do this...togather...I will be with you, every step of the way...I wont let you fight alone..." He kissed his cousin's forhead as he held him.. The two boys fell asleep wrapped in each others arms. And Dun did not have another nightmare that night, or the night after. His cousin was protecting him in his sleep._

Dun sighed sadly. "Fucking brutal.." Was all he said. He only tightened his hand on yuans. Yuan had been there for him when no one else was, evertime he tried to starve himself, cut, or even die.. He was there as his beacon in the dark. Yuan frowned and squeezed tighter. "i'm not going to fail you...Not Like That Guan..." He said numbly, He hurt for his cousin. He almost was able to feel the pain Dun was feeling.

Down in the prison Cao Cao went to pay Guan Yu a visit. He smirked maliciously and saw Yu laying in the prison bed. "Dun won't bail you out...Or save you..." Yu looked over and glared. "Bastard, You stabbed him..." Cao Cao acted innocent. "Oh, my what harsh words! watch your tongue fool, because that isn't what the guards, Yuan...or the rest of the military are going to believe.. You see, They believe that _YOU _tried to kill _ME, _and that your little EX Boyfriend- bless his heart by the way, got in the way of your plot...So, why was it that you REALLY left wei that one morning to go to Shu..." He walked to the cell and looked at guan yu. "That's right... I know about that, Dun told me... I can't allow you to hurt him anymore than you already have..." Yu's heart felt betrayed! But, at the same time Cao Cao had lied to Dun, which probably drove him to confess. "I will tell no such thing.."

_Guan Yu had left xiahou Dun in ba's hands and left to the shu kingdom. When he arrived Liu bei and Zhang fei were expecting his arrival. He had been ceeping secret contact with them both. They went into the conference room and Guan yu spoke out the plan. "I need you to delay the bombardment of the wei castle.. I have a new plan.. When I return, I will have Xiahou Dun with me.." Liu bei and zhang fei looked at each other confused. "Dead right?" Guan Yu shook his head. "No..My husband." Liu bei and zhang fei's mouth droped agape..It..wasn't that they were agains two men being togather but..Guan yu, with a man to be married? Thats just...Strange! Guan yu hates Xiahou Dun!" Liu bei hen cleared his throat and smiled. "Great! I'm so happy you are with some one you love." Zhang fei growled and pounded his hands on the table. "NO! THIS CAN'T BE! BROTHER!" Guan Yu glared at him. "what, is something the matter with me being with a man?" Zhang fei shook his head. "No! You could marry a horse for all I care! The problem is when you get married who's going to go drinking with me!" The brothers laughed. Liu bei put an arm around zhang fei. "we will have to get use to drinking with the four of us!"_

Guan Yu glared at cao cao as the question was repeated. "why did you go back to shu...Tell me..." Guan Yu stood up and walked to the cell gate andgripped cao cao's collar. "Over my dead body..."

**TBC.**

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I feel disgusted in myself for just mentioning the Rape scene and that happening to dunny boy! UGH! But, hopefully the next chapter will be nicer.. HOPEFULLY.. Keep reading my lovelies


	7. STILL CONTINUING!

**LIFE UPDATES!**

**I sincerely apologize for the lack of updates on Powerless. I had severe writers block and life happened. School is a major event that had been in the way of my writers block and updates. THE STORY IS STILL CONTINUING! **** The writer's block took a break through and I am now currently working on the next chapter and will update soon! To those who are still keeping with the story, Thank you so much! I know I have been terrible at keeping updates but sometimes you gotta bear through! Thank you!**


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